Trust

Trust is the willingness of one party (the trustor) to become vulnerable to another party (the trustee) on the presumption that the trustee will act in ways that benefit the trustor.

– https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust_(social_science)

Whether the trustee will act in a certain way or not, doesn’t not only depend on their intentions, but also their ability.

One kind of trust “is a measure of belief in the honesty, fairness, or benevolence of another party”.¹ And the other kind depends on the skills and competences they have to actually benefit the trustor – or at least not harm them.

While a “failure in trust may be forgiven more easily if it is interpreted as a failure of competence rather than a lack of benevolence or honesty”,¹ it is equally harmful. And in some ways even worse, because it’s not even intentional as the trustee might not even see their own incompetence. They might not even see the harm they cause, while the unfair trustee, the trustee with bad intentions, knows what they are doing.

While the trustee with bad intentions doesn’t want to change these intentions, the incompetent trustee may not even be able to become competent. In some way the former at least could act differently, while the latter is oblivious and therefore has no other choice. Oblivion is an obstacle to change. But that’s not the only problem, even if you are aware, there are plenty of reasons why change is hard.²

All these reasons why change is hard only apply if the trustee actually wants to change, if the trustor is looking to change the trustee, that’s obviously a pointless undertaking. It’s easier to change ourselves, rather than attempting to change others.³